Hi friend!

Happy Momentum Monday (on a Sunday)! 

Can we talk about the very specific ADHD urge to declare that this week is the week you’re finally going to get your entire life together?

You know the vibe.

You’re going to clean the house, answer every email, meal prep like a woodland cottage influencer, start exercising, fix your sleep schedule, organize the closet, drink enough water, use the planner, stop doom scrolling, become emotionally regulated, and maybe also develop a skincare routine.

By Wednesday?

You’re overwhelmed, annoyed, behind, and eating shredded cheese over the sink while wondering why you “can’t just be consistent.”

So this week, I want to lovingly suggest something different:

You probably don’t need a full life reset.

You probably need a friction audit.

Because here’s the thing about ADHD: a lot of the stuff we call laziness, inconsistency, avoidance, or “falling off track” is actually friction.

Too many steps.
Too many decisions.
Too much unclear information.
Too many transitions.
Too much sensory nonsense.
Too much relying on memory.
Too much “I’ll just figure it out when I get there.”

And listen. ADHD brains are already doing a lot behind the scenes. We are managing attention, time blindness, emotional regulation, working memory, task initiation, overstimulation, understimulation, and the constant internal ping-pong match of “I should do this” versus “why can’t I make myself do this?”

So when a task has extra friction built into it, our brains often don’t experience it as “slightly inconvenient.”

They experience it as a wall.

And then we blame ourselves for not climbing the wall.

But what if the goal this week is not to become more disciplined?

What if the goal is to remove a few bricks?

That’s what a friction audit does.

It helps you stop asking, “What is wrong with me?” and start asking, “Where is this harder than it needs to be?”

Because ADHD support is not about forcing yourself to perform like a neurotypical productivity robot with a color-coded calendar and suspiciously consistent energy.

It’s about building a life that works with your actual brain.

Not your fantasy brain.
Not your emergency-mode brain.
Not your “I watched one TikTok and now I’m a whole new woman” brain.

Your real brain.

The one you live with every day.

So let’s make this practical.

This week, pick one area of your life that feels weirdly hard right now.

Not your whole life. We are not doing a dramatic life renovation. Put the sledgehammer down.

Pick one area.

Maybe it’s mornings.
Maybe it’s laundry.
Maybe it’s feeding yourself.
Maybe it’s replying to messages.
Maybe it’s getting out the door.
Maybe it’s starting work.
Maybe it’s the end-of-day crash where you turn into a couch goblin and suddenly every task feels illegal.

Once you pick the area, ask yourself:

Where is the friction?

Here are a few places to look.

1. Decision friction

This is when the task technically isn’t hard, but deciding how to do it is draining the life force out of you.

“What should I eat?”
“What should I wear?”
“What should I work on first?”
“What cleaning task matters most?”
“What do I even need from the store?”

For ADHD brains, too many options can shut the whole system down. This is why repeatable defaults are so helpful.

Not because you’re boring.
Not because you lack creativity.
Because your brain deserves fewer open tabs.

Try this:

Create one default for the week.

A default breakfast.
A default outfit formula.
A default first work task.
A default grocery list.
A default “I have no capacity” dinner.

You can still change it. This is not prison. It’s just a starting point.

We’re going for decision relief, not decision jail.

2. Step friction

This is when a task has too many invisible steps.

Laundry is not one task. Rude, but true.

Laundry is collecting clothes, sorting clothes, starting the washer, remembering the washer exists, moving things to the dryer, remembering the dryer exists, taking clothes out, folding them, putting them away, and then emotionally recovering from the betrayal of having to do it again in three business days.

So if you keep avoiding a task, don’t just write “do laundry” on a list and expect your brain to magically cooperate.

Break it down until the first step is almost laughably small.

“Put clothes in basket.”
“Carry basket to washer.”
“Start one load.”
“Move dry clothes to bed.”
“Put away 5 things.”

Tiny? Yes.

Effective? Also yes.

Momentum usually doesn’t come from thinking harder. It comes from making the starting line closer.

3. Location friction

This is when the thing you need is not where you use it.

Your meds are in the cabinet, but you need them when you make coffee.
Your grocery bags are in the house, but you need them in the car.
Your planner is in another room, so it basically does not exist.
Your water bottle is somewhere, theoretically, living its own mysterious little life.

ADHD brains are very “out of sight, out of mind,” so location matters more than we want it to.

Try asking:

Where does this item need to live so I’ll actually use it?

Not where it “should” live.
Not where a professional organizer with matching bins would put it.
Where YOU will use it.

Put the vitamins by the coffee maker.
Put the trash bags at the bottom of the trash can.
Put a laundry basket where the clothes actually land.
Put a notebook where your brain tends to spiral.
Put the shoes by the door if shoes help you stay in motion.

Yes, it might look weird.

We are not designing a showroom. We are designing support.

4. Energy friction

This is when you keep assigning tasks to versions of yourself who do not exist at that time of day.

Morning You may not be the person who wants to make decisions.

After-Work You may not be the person who can cook from scratch.

Sunday You may not be the person who wants to prep seven full meals and become the CEO of quinoa.

This is where self-awareness comes in.

Instead of asking, “When should I do this?”

Ask, “When do I actually have the capacity for this?”

Maybe you need to prep the coffee at night because morning you is a haunted raccoon.

Maybe you need to chop ingredients earlier in the day because dinner-time you is overstimulated and one minor inconvenience away from ordering takeout.

Maybe you need to schedule admin tasks before lunch because after 2 p.m. your brain turns into mashed potatoes.

This is not failure.

This is data.

And data helps us build better systems.

5. Shame friction

This one is sneaky.

Shame friction is when you avoid a task not because of the task itself, but because of all the emotional crap attached to it.

The emails you didn’t answer.
The laundry pile that makes you feel like a disaster.
The bill you forgot.
The text you meant to reply to three weeks ago.
The project you started with enthusiasm and then abandoned like a Victorian orphan.

Shame makes tasks heavier.

And ADHD brains often already carry years of “why can’t you just…” messaging. So by the time we approach the task, we’re not just doing the thing.

We’re doing the thing while dragging a giant backpack full of guilt, embarrassment, and self-criticism.

No wonder we avoid it.

So here’s the reframe:

You are not behind because you are bad.

You are behind because you are human, and because your brain needs support, and because life has a lot of moving pieces.

Accountability matters, yes.

But shame is a terrible project manager.

This week, try approaching one avoided task with a little less punishment.

Not zero responsibility.
Not “it doesn’t matter.”
Not “ignore all consequences and live in a cave.”

Just less cruelty.

Try saying:

“Okay, this got away from me. What’s the next repair step?”

That’s it.

Not the perfect step.
Not the step that magically fixes everything.
The next repair step.

Because repair builds self-trust.

And self-trust is built by coming back, not by never messing up.

So here’s your Momentum Monday challenge:

Pick one annoying, avoided, or chaotic area of your life and do a 5-minute friction audit.

Ask:

What part of this is harder than it needs to be?

Then remove one tiny piece of friction.

Move the item.
Make the list.
Choose the default.
Lower the standard.
Break the task down.
Prep one thing tonight.
Ask for body doubling.
Set the reminder.
Put the thing where Future You will actually see it.

Just one brick out of the wall.

That counts.

And if your brain immediately says, “But one tiny change won’t fix everything,” you can lovingly tell it:

Correct. We are not fixing everything today.

We are creating momentum.

That’s the whole damn point.

This week, you don’t need to reinvent yourself.

You need to make one part of your life 10% easier to start.

That is real support.
That is real progress.
That is how we build lives that feel more manageable.

One friction point at a time.

Until next week,

Leah 🌶️