June 15th 2025
Hey there!
Before we jump in, just a reminder that my women’s ADHD group begins again end of June (3 spots left) and I am finally launching my men’s ADHD group with will launch early July! Both are likely to see out so reach out or schedule a call if you want more info.
Ok, on to our regularly scheduled Momentum…
This week we’re talking about lateness. I know more than a few of us reeeeally struggle with this particular executive function and while we’re often the butt of our friends jokes…it’s usually not funny for those of us living life as “the late friend.”
Late Again?
If you’ve ever whispered “shit shit shit” while throwing on pants, grabbing your keys, and flying out the door 12 minutes after you were supposed to leave… yeah. Same.
Lateness is one of the most common ADHD symptoms. And one of the most misunderstood.
From the outside, it looks careless. Like we don’t respect other people’s time. But from the inside? It’s usually a tornado of time blindness, decision fatigue, transitions that feel impossible, and a brain that cannot, no matter how hard it tries, understand what “10 more minutes” actually means. (Hot tip: 10 minutes is only 600 seconds. Somehow that obvious piece of knowledge blew. my. mind! 🤯
We’re not talking (only) about setting more alarms, and it’s not about being lazy. It’s more about recognizing what’s actually getting in the way, and how to take small steps towards being late less often.
Want to dive deeper into your specific “brand” of ADHD?
Why ADHD Brains Struggle With Lateness
Here’s what might be at play:
Time blindness: The inability to accurately feel how time is passing. “I thought I had 20 minutes” turns into “how has it already been an hour” real fast.
Transition trouble: Switching from one activity to another takes way more mental energy than people think. Especially when we’re hyper-focused. To be fair, this is one most ADHDers I talk to don’t realize.
Last-minute urgency: Some ADHDers need that adrenaline rush to kick into action. Unfortunately, it often kicks in just a little too late.
Perfectionism and over-prepping: “I can’t leave until I get this one more thing done…” Cue the delay spiral.
Add in shame from all the times you’ve already been late, and you’ve got a cocktail of internal chaos that most people never see.
What Helps (That Isn’t Just “Leave Earlier”)
Yes, planning ahead helps—but that’s not always accessible in the moment. The goal here is to create friction between you and the lateness loop.
Try this:
Start the “getting ready” process earlier than feels necessary. Set a cue (like a timer or song) 30–40 minutes before you need to leave. When the cue hits, you stop what you’re doing, even if you’re mid-cleaning out your closet, and shift into prep mode.
Time your tasks. Not when you’re rushing, but on regular days. How long does it actually take to shower, do your hair, make breakfast, get dressed? How long does the commute really take, including parking or waiting for the train? Track it for 10 days. It’s annoying, yes—but it gives you real data so when your brain says “I only need 20 minutes,” you can counter with “Actually, the facts say I need 45.”
Use visual timers. Not just alarms—actual visual timers (Time Timer app, kitchen timers, whatever works) so you can see time passing.
Plan transition buffers. Don’t just block out time for the event, build in 10–15 minute windows before and after so you’re not jumping from one task to another on a dime.
Prep in advance (seriously). Pack your bag the night before, or at least earlier in the day if your event’s in the afternoon. Prep when you’re calm and regulated, not when you’re already running on fumes. Future You will thank Past You, I promise.
Simplify your exits. Have a “launch pad” area with keys, wallet, bag, water bottle, etc. ready to grab. One less executive function task in the moment = a smoother departure.
Most importantly: stop tying your self-worth to your arrival time. You are not your patterns. You’re learning what they are so you can work with them.
This Week’s Action Step:
Pick one strategy to try, just one.
Set up a transition cue. Lay out your stuff the night before. Time a few daily tasks this week.
Whatever feels doable. Then try it. See how it goes.
This isn’t necessarily about becoming a “punctual person.” It’s about making things easier for your brain, and then hopefully punctuality is a byproduct of that effort.
Less chaos. More feeling “in control”. That’s the vibe we’re going for.
You’ve got this. Even if you’re a little late to the party.
– Leah 🌶
P.S. If you want support and community while you figure this whole ADHD brain thing out, ADHD Academy might be exactly what you need. It’s affordable, packed with tools, and filled with people who actually understand what it’s like. Check it out here.
P.P.S. I’m finally launching my men’s-only ADHD coaching group in early July and it’s already filling up. Because this is my first round, I’m offering it at a beta price of £200 (regular price will be £465 going forward). If you’ve been waiting for a space that’s built specifically for men navigating ADHD, this is it. Message me or book a quick call if you want to chat about it.