Happy Momentum Monday (on a Sunday)!

The Power of No (and Yes, and Wait, Let Me Check)

What you say yes to shapes your…life.

This week, we’re zooming in on something sneaky but powerful: all the little yeses and nos you say without even realizing it.

If you’ve been here a while you know I write these emails based on what’s come up the most during the past week for me and my clients and here’s what I’ve said more than anything else this week:
👉 Every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else.
And vice versa.

That doesn’t mean one is right or wrong. It just means there’s an impact, on your time, your energy, your focus, your goals and your values.

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ADHD brains love saying “sure!”… until we don’t.

We often say yes too fast, out of impulse, urgency, guilt, or pure habit. And then suddenly we’re triple-booked and wondering why we don’t have time for the things that actually matter to us.

It’s not about never saying yes, how boring would that be?! But it is about saying yes intentionally. About being the one in the driver’s seat, not flitting from task to task or from event to event like a feather in the wind.

This week, let’s start with awareness:

Catch yourself in the moment of decision. Pause. Ask:

What am I saying no to with this yes?
Do I actually have space for this?
Do I need to say “Let me check my calendar”?
Am I choosing this, or just defaulting to it?

You’re allowed to say yes to a night out and no to sleep. Or yes to rest and no to social pressure. It’s not necessarily about the choice, it’s about owning the choice.

Micro Habits to Try:

Create a Values Post-It: Keep 3 personal priorities visible (health, family, creative projects). Glance at it before committing. Maybe change the background of your phone to these values for a bit, or set a daily “reminder” of what your values are. In the beginning we sometimes have to set reminders for the things, in order to remind us that we’re doing a new thing! (Side note: In my group program we spend time actually going through a Value Mapping exercise, as this is a tricky ask for a lot of us as we don’t really know what our values are, so if you’re stumped, reach out for support).
Use a “Yes Buffer”: Try saying, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.” We really want this response to become the default answer. Easier said than done, but…
Practice Saying No-ish: Try “I wish I could, but I don’t have the bandwidth this week.” No guilt, just facts.

This Week’s Action Item:

Start a Yes/No Audit.
Just notice what you say yes and no to this week. No pressure to change it—just observe.
By the weekend, check back and ask:

Did my yeses reflect what matters to me and how I really wanted to spend my time?
What did I maybe overcommit to?
What could I shift next week?

We’re taking this approach because awareness is the first step toward alignment. And feeling in alignment with your yeses is how you can start to bring your energy back.

Side note: like most things we chat about in this space, it comes with a side of “ish.” There will be times we have to say yes even when we really want to say no. I’m not talking about being a hardass with rigid, unbendable boundaries here, but we want the 80/20 rule: 80% of the time we’re in alignment with our yeses, 20% of the time we’re needing to be flexible with our yeses and nos. Also, FOMO is real, so sometimes we say yes even when we should probably say no. THAT’S OK! We’re not here to shame ourselves into saying no. I just want to encourage you to be in charge of the yeses or the nos, and feeling in control of your decisions vs your decisions controlling you.

P.S. Group Coaching is BACK 🎉

The next round of ADHD Academy (Women’s Group) kicks off in just a few weeks!
And exciting news: a brand new Men’s Group is launching at beta pricing—so if you or someone you know has been waiting for something more aligned and supportive, now’s the time. Spots are limited in both, so hit reply or check out the details here.

Let’s start saying yes to the right stuff.

Catch you next week with more bite-sized momentum!

– Leah 🌶