Happy Momentum Monday (on a Sunday)!

Let’s talk about something sneaky that derails a lot of us ADHDers…not what happens, but what we don’t say about what’s happening.

This week’s inspo comes from a beach-camping story where one of my clients went camping with his girlfriend. He had that gut feeling of “we need to leave now and get a campsite or I’m gonna spiral,” but she was chill, vibing, and said “it’ll be fine, we’ll figure it out.”

Cue: his anxiety volcano.

Turns out they couldn’t find a spot and ended up wild camping, which is technically illegal in some places. And even though everything turned out okay-ish, he emotionally shut down. His nervous system basically hit the kill switch. Their whole evening vibe got hijacked, and his girlfriend was frustrated, again, by having to navigate his unspoken stress.

Sound familiar?

ADHD doesn’t just affect our actions, it affects our reactions. Especially when we don’t communicate what we need, because we don’t want to be “too much” or “make it a thing.”

But here’s the deal: avoiding the hard conversation upfront creates a harder aftermath later.

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Why This Hits Home for ADHD Brains:

Uncertainty is like static in our brains. If we don’t know what’s next, our executive function throws a tantrum.
We bottle anxiety to keep the peace, then explode, implode, or ghost when it gets too much.
We don’t always recognize the slow creep of anxiety until we’re too far gone to self-regulate.

But! There’s good news.

New Habit for the Week: Name it before you flame out.

Practice naming your need or fear out loud, even if it feels annoying or awkward. You don’t need to over-explain. You can literally say:

“Hey, I’m getting a little anxious about not having a plan.”
“Would you be open to heading out now so I don’t spiral?”
“I know it’s not a big deal to you, but it’s kinda hijacking my brain.”

This is not about being rigid or controlling, it’s more about being proactive with your nervous system instead of reactive after the fact.

Side note: It might not hurt to let “your people” know you’re employing this new tactic. Give them a heads up “hey, I don’t like that I’ve been spiraling as I know that throws everything off, so I’m going to try and start stating what I’m going through.” Give them a heads up that you’re working towards change so they don’t feel blindsided.

The truth is when we voice it before the meltdown, we save everyone a lot of confusion and emotional clean-up later. It’s not annoying, it’s kind.

This Week’s Action Item:

Practice a micro-moment of communication.
Catch yourself when you’re starting to feel dysregulated, then say one sentence to someone you trust. Or, write it down if you’re not ready to speak it yet.

If you’ve got plans this week that feel “loose,” or something else that feels “triggering,” ask yourself:

What would make this feel safer or clearer for my brain?

Then ask for it. You’re not being high maintenance, you’re being self-aware.

Momentum starts with a single sentence. 💬

Got a similar moment from your week where you wished you’d spoken up sooner? Or one where you did, and it helped? Hit reply, I’d love to hear about it. Let’s normalize speaking up before our brains shut down.

With so much compassion,

Leah 🌶